


Merciful

by nonky



Category: Being Human (US/Canada)
Genre: F/M, Season/Series 01
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-16 01:33:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 510
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18511222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonky/pseuds/nonky
Summary: Summary: The relief he thought he'd feel not having to be brave for her was a myth.





	Merciful

There was nothing beautiful left in the ugly, functional hotel room.

Rebecca left him and it was probably less than he deserved, except Aidan thought she might have done it to save him. She left when she was slipping, padding silently to the door even as he was pledging all his efforts toward keeping both of them from killing. She didn't even try to make him see sense, just disappeared; leaving him with a rumpled coverlet on a lumpy hotel bed.

She had made his self-control meaningful; something he was actively doing instead of something he simply wasn't allowing himself. His willpower had been her example, and Aidan had taught her every trick he knew to tamp the bloodlust down.

The blood fucking had been stupid, but sweet, aggressive Rebecca was still lovely and bright in his world. She held him and offered ways to feel better and useful. She'd needed him. He'd choked down the souring, dead blood he'd stolen, and she drank from him. Sucking it back from her soft thigh was almost as good as really feeding.

He clutched at his stomach and realized the grinding hunger was dimmed to the sick churn of grief. He could still catch her; Rebecca was new, and he was faster even on bagged blood. His boots came up closer and closer to his face, twisting in his vision as he hit the floor instead.

And maybe part of it was the hunger and helplessness, but he slumped down on the ugly carpet and cried; covering his face with both hands and scrubbing frantically at the itch of fangs pushing on the inside of his lip. His mouth was empty of her, and that had been the only pleasure he'd felt for so long. They could help each other. He knew it wasn't healthy, but it was something. Sometimes you needed a crutch for a while, and trying to do without was just self-abuse.

But if she really couldn't hold out – if she was going to feed live – he had to stay away from her. Even the pink bloom of it underneath her delicately curved cheekbones would break his will. If it was inside Rebecca – where he wanted to be – Aidan might as well admit he had lost.

The water he'd splashed on his hands and face was drying, leaving his skin brittle enough to crack. The inside of his mouth was gritty, but he could lick her slick gloss off the left corner. If he went after her like this, they'd both falter. If he went outside that room before morning, he'd certainly fuck up.

She'd wanted to be free of Bishop, and he didn't have the heart to tell her it might not be possible. He couldn't face another meeting with Marcus cheerfully disposing of a body for him, adding to the tally of things Aidan owed his maker. He couldn't watch Rebecca dig herself deeper than the grave he'd made for her.

He didn't deserve her, or her consideration. He never had. Aidan wanted her to come back.


End file.
